An Identity - In Crisis

 “I'm not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I've gotten from books”

- Beatrice Sparks

The concept of identity has always intrigued me. One of my favourite quotes growing up was “Life is not about finding yourself , it is about creating yourself.”  

Does this still ring true? I remember struggling in my formative years with “defining myself”. I was too much of one thing..not enough of the other..I was ticking too many boxes and I just didn’t fit with any one group of people or with any one description. I should be happy that I was given free reign to explore and not have to force myself into a box. Some people do not have that luxury. They are forced , coerced , pressured into picking a side and then they go about creating and building the pretense. Sooner or later the facade crumbles and they are forced finally to face their true selves.

Why is that we hold so strictly to ideals of what we’re “supposed to be” when we continue to prove to ourselves day in and day out that we’re all different?

I understand the desire to be part of something…to belong..but I also believe that we should also seek to self-define. I also don’t believe differences should separate as much as we constantly allow them to. We say that we are unique but still shame people if their differences are not the same as ours. How sway. We become our oppressor even as we seek to be free from their oppression. When we realize that truly no man.woman.boy.girl. is better than any other then we’ll stop trying to make our selves more than we are. When we see each individual as we see ourselves then maybe just maybe…we’ll see a better world.

Sorry for the rambling…back to identity…I’ve been reading and researching on various types of identities and it’s a bit strange how so many superficial factors seem to “define” who we are and who we can be. I think we do ourselves a great disservice by forcing ourselves into boxes to please everyone else..to make it easier for them…to make them tolerate us. That shouldn’t be our job.

Why is respect for individualism such a hard concept to grasp for most? Why must we feel some connection to them to give them basic respect? Isn’t being human enough?