I wish I could say that this year will be "my year" but after the beating that 2018 handed me, I am a little wary of declarations. I know however the eternal optimist that lives inside me will try her best to make 2019 an amazing year. 2018 was a year and a half , I feel like I lived at least five lives and died at least twice. I am still surprised that I made it through the year and trust me when I say that I am a different person as a result. I am still trying to put together the pieces of my life and my spirit.
2018 brought me to my lowest emotional state, the highest anxiety levels and the longest stretch of depression. Having to explain this to my parents and a therapist were equally heart wrenching and overwhelming. I spent most of my therapy sessions crying and most of my nights.
2018 was filled with sleepless nights...anxiety ridden mornings and stress induced weight loss. I was a mess in so many ways (and not the beautiful kind). I still marvel at how I was able to get through those days with a smile on my face. I've been told I wear stress well and I still have not decided if this is a compliment or not.
So here I am... a month into 2019. I'm feeling unraveled, vulnerable and hopeful, all at the same time. If nothing else I am grateful that the Universe saw fit to guide me into this new year and I am extremely thankful for my friends that kept pushing me to make the hard decisions which turned out to be the best decisions.
2018 did however come with its fair share of bright moments :- I bought a new laptop (after 10 years of avoiding purchasing one) , I got a new job , I hit a few of my money goals, I dyed my hair blonde (do they really have more fun?) , I fell in love with food and fashion (again) and I got a little closer to being the best version of myself (this will be a never-ending journey).
So let's here it for hope! and maintaining my editorial calendar. Please bear with me. My mind is still trying to get with the program.
Blessings and guidance.