Food as Friend, Foe and Feeling.
I must preface this with saying that I have always considered myself an emotional eater…but not in the way that “I eat for reasons other than hunger”. In fact I am more the opposite, I will not eat despite my hunger…if I don’t “feel well”. It wasn’t until recently that I was made aware that my desire for control in that area is a coping mechanism for my anxiety, depression or whatever mental challenge I was facing at the time. I am working on that and making more intuitive choices as it relates to food but before I get into that, let’s backtrack a bit.
I have always had a strong connection to food, the preparation , the ingredients and the feeling that food can evoke. Food is also deeply tied to my emotional well being. It took me a while to realize this and it perhaps hit me very strongly over the last couple years as I struggled through months of digestive concerns amidst my transition to being a remote worker and trying to get my meal times back on schedule. For reasons still unknown, in the space of a few months, the amount and types of food that I could tolerate shrunk drastically. I had already made some choices of my own (no meat) and now my body was making some choices for me. I was suddenly unable to comfortably consume beans (a staple in my pescatarian diet), several fruits and vegetables that I had previously enjoyed all my life.
All of a sudden food felt more like the enemy and eating became almost an agonizing game of …how will I feel when I eat this? Many days I subsisted on crackers and copious amounts of tea. A couple doctor visits, a few tests and many painful months later…I’m still flitting between diagnosis but honestly, neither my doctors nor I am quite sure what happened but one thing for sure is that my whole relationship with food has transformed.
For about a month or so, I kept a food diary to track what I ate , how much of it I ate and how it made me feel. It was an eye opening experience to say the least…milk and ice cream were no nos but cheese and yogurt were good to go. I could eat two slices of avocado but anything else was asking for trouble, my mango maximum was two small ones and bread was a hit and miss. Most of my favourite beans and peas were definitely off the list even in small portions. But I also learnt about what foods made me feel good…oats and quinoa…definitely improved my mood…bananas, pineapples, oranges, grapefruits, they all did what they were supposed to do.
After some research I found and loosely adopted the Low FODMAP diet which I will admit has been helpful, I still eat things that are not the best for me but I think I have a better handle on managing to create meals that both I and my body like.
Some of the swaps/inclusions/changes I have made are :-
tortillas, pitas, roti, naan instead of regular whole wheat or white bread
rice or veggie noodles
oat milk
non dairy ice cream
coconut milk for heavy cream in pastas
taking probiotics
setting alarms for meal times (I am on the hobbit diet)
movement (sedentary days make me feel worse, I am sad to say)
Some days are better than others but it’s safe to say that food has been feeling more like a friend these days and I can only give thanks.
Be good (to yourself and to others)
Ultra